This Blog of mine isn't just some teenage complaining about the people who care....this is about a teen whose family has been torn apart almost completely from the inside out. She can be a great actress in the fact she makes everyone believe she is happy and that she is spoiled. This so different from any journal...it is a telling of my very thoughts and actions...its more than an expression, a journal....its a reaching out to see if someone cares enough to listen....

I'll tell you my story from the beginning from when I was little.

I was born in a hospital on April 11, 1991 at 1:14 to my mother and father. My father was off at war so my mother cooped with me during the time between my birth and his return. I was born with the umbellical cord wrapped around my neck which in my premature time, sort of prevented my lungs and liver from developing fully. I was hospitalied until the 17th only to almost return as I stopped eating. My weight dropped and the doctors began to worry. Soon, I was growing normal again.

Then, my father returned and we moved from Pennsylvanis to Kanas where my father was stationed. Around my first year, we moved to Puerto Rico.

My sister, Kylie-Lynne, was born around the time I was two. Shortly around that time, Kylie and I became a handful. Then, my family moved to washington. Before my fifth birthday, my brother, Josh, was born.

I had started school and also ran away a couple of times. Each time I came back though.

Towards the end of my first grade year, we moved back to Pennsylvania. We got here, we moved in with my grandmother or my mother's mother. At that time there really wasn't much room for us since my aunt still lived at home with her new baby girl, Maryah. I started at my new school. While staying there, I would love to hold maryah against my family's wishes. One time, my father was watching me and I picked her up. He yelled at me and I zoned him out. He then proceeded to beat me and threw me into a cold shower. I fell asleep crying I believe, but I awoke with bruises. My father lost his job the next day.

Within the 4.25 years I was going there, I had changed into a crybaby. Everyone picked on me at school save the teachers and a few friends. I left that school at the end of fifth grade to go to a charter school, but my family had be able to get their own house and moved in.

I spent three years there, changing into a stronger person than I was before. My sister ended up going there during my eighth grade year and I attacked her. I was so angry at my parents who had been since I was younger been fighting off and on. They always claimed divorce, but never complied.

I was put in therapy and my family was placed in family therapy. During this time, my mother and father hit me and threw me outside for ten minutes. It was all over my reluctance to pack my room. CYS was called in.

I graduated that school and started the local high school

Later, CYS was called in again when my mother slapped me for the first time in months. They pulled me out of my classes to speak with me and I ended up without lunch.

I started dating someone from a rival school only to have him try to control my life. The guys I dated at the charter school always left thanks to my mother. This boyfriend was everything my mother hoped for. I left him, making him the only guy I ever broke up with.

Then I started dating my current boyfriend Travis. At first my parents freaked because he has a son named Ian. They soon got over that

Then, five months later, I gave him my virginity. We had talked about our 3 year anniversary. He said he might propose at that time. On Sept 24th 2006, he proposed and I said yes. I still keep the secret from my family save for Kylie.

In June 2006, my family lost our house and I had to live with my aunt who lived there with Maryah and her son Shane. Her children are half-siblings. Since, then I've lived there.

I'm no longer a burn or a rubber band snapper that I used to be.

Since all this, I've learned that my fiancee cheated on me the first month of our relationship, which still hurts to this day, how he likes other girls, and how my parents are fighting once more. Now I've got to find a place to live since my aunt is planning on kicking me out next week.